6 Ways To Be Annoying Online
By Sujan Patel with 17 Comments
1. Make up fake acronyms. Online veterans like to use abbreviations like IMHO (in my humble opinion) or RTFM (read the fucking manual) to show that they’re “hep” to the lingo. Make up your own that don’t stand for anything (SETO, BARL, CP30), use them liberally, and then refuse to explain what they stand for (“You don’t know that? RTFM”).
2. WRITE YOUR MESSAGES IN ALL CAPS AND DON’T USE RETURNS SO THAT EVERYONE HAS TO SCROLL ACROSS THEIR SCREENS TO READ EVERY LINE. ALSO USE A LOT OF !!!!! TO SHOW THAT YOU’RE EXCITED ABOUT BEING HERE!
3. When replying to your mail, correct everyone’s grammar and spelling and point out their typos, but don’t otherwise respond to the content of their messages. when they respond testily to your “creative criticism,” do it again. Continue until they go away.
4. Software and files offered online are often “compressed” so that they won’t take so long to travel over the phone lines. Buy a compression program and compress everything you send, including one-word e-mail responses like “Thanks.”
5. Upload text files with Bible passages about sin or guilt and give them names like “SexyHousewivesI,” then see how many people download it. Challenge your friends to come up with the most popular come-ons.
6. Join a discussion group and tie whatever’s being discussed back to an unrelated central theme. For instance, if you’re in a discussion of gun control, respond to every message with the observation that those genetically superior tomatoes seem to have played an important role. Within days, all discussion of gun control will have ceased as people write you threatening messages and instruct others to ignore you.
Ooooooooooooooooo, me likey!
I have found that it is not a good idea to leave
a toaster unattended.I must note that this is
especially true when one is toasting those big fat
slices of oatmeal bread….It seems that there is a good chance the bread will prevent the toaster from
properly completing it’s toast cycle by jamming themselves in the toast chamber.Therefore, there is a good risk that they will continue toasting until
they possibly catch on fire and burn (my) kitchen
along with the rest of (my) house.Has anyone else
expirienced this?
OATMEAL??? you eat bread made out of organic glue? you must be on the left coast (or in new york—not much diff). oatmeal is disgusting enough wet, but dehydrated in a toaster? what do you use it for, roof tile replacements? patio bricks? sp=> experienced
NO!!!NO!!!! Oatmeal toast GOOOOD!!!! I have to catch it with my teeth when it pops up because it sooo
hot I burned my fingers.They are all bandaged up now.I eat toast and then take a bite out of a butter
stick(not margerine).REAL GOOD!!! I have to plug my new toaster into the outdoors electrical outlet as
I cannot go into my house until the contractor is
done repairing the fire damage.Sometimes it is cold at night and I have to sleep under the front of my car to keep warm.
OOOO!!!! YOU POOR DEER!! YOU SOUND LIKE SOMEONE
I COULD LIKE TO HELP!!! MAY I BEE YOU’RE
FRIEND??
me too.
barf simian no eat oatmeal.
barf simian too busy catching and eating squirrel him catch with bare hands outside trailer home. Hard to eat with 3 teeth him have left! Ooh! Nascar on TV now! Gotta go!!!
Please
stay
on
topic
The
topic
was
how
to
annoy
people
in
emails
On
the
other
hand
,
there
is
a
way
to
annoy
people
in
comment
sections
as
well
.
So
to
hell
with
your
damned
oatmeal
bread
…
toasted
or
untoasted
!
Happy
Friday
!
[...] Source: Single Grain [...]
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>>>>>>>>>>>>ALL OF THOSE STUPID LITTLE >>>’S IN YOU’RE (correctly spelled incorrect!!!!!!!!)EMAIL!!!
Those are really ANNOYING!!!
I prefer milk.
Stuff Nascar, in Africa we prefer tennis
RDGTY
Hey Giraffe, we also prefer it, but only when blue is available. Often it is, but you have to look really really high. My wife said she picked some up once and it was round but that doesnt make any sense…does it? How could it be. Only if its got that orange side can it be round. Anyway, thanks Zuma Lackey, this is good forum for fixing exhausts. I went to the one next door and they always seemed closed. Hopefully when they do open, Ill get a 4Kg one!
Hmmm,
3:51 am in the Great White North and the dawn is well on the way on the First Day of summer. Since this is one of the most surreal chats I have seen in awhile I thought I would add in the surreal idea of dawn starting at 3 am— tough to go to bed when dawn starting— but harder to get up in Winter when dawn starts at about 8:30 am.
Ever wonder how people that spend their time thinking up annoying things as kids (obnoxious as they were called back when I was a kid) are now Free Thinkers? Hmmm, and those people are my friends although I was never annoying when I was a child but people say I am annoying now as a free thinker.
I thought I was a free thinker as a kid when I thought I was enjoying the glue that was called Oatmeal bread.
Why in the SBS would anyone keep a toaster that was NRITFP? My toaster would HWE a TT SOB and never CFAM.
TTFN